What do you want?

This was the past. Now, Im living in the present. I hope the past doesnt become my future which, at the time, will be my present. Im done with you and I have someone new. I got what I wanted but its not what I want anymore. I want something- someone- else. I dont want what I have. I want something that nobody has. I dont know what you want but I sure hope its not me because I would hate to disappoint.

In writing the above, I realized Im still a kid and I dont know what I want yet. I know I want something but right now Im just guessing what that something is. I hope its someone else, the person Im thinking of right now. I dont love you no matter how much I thought I did. Im sorry if this isnt what you wanted but Im done pleasing people. You told me to do that so if you think im screwing you over, think again.

I dont think Im hurting anyone with the decisions I make because: lets be honest, does anyone really care that much about me? I get anxious about everything but I dont see the point. Its not me you're looking at, its the daydream in your mind nobody else can see.

Correction-

People tell me that I correct myself all the time. This is true and extremely noticable. It's not a bad thing in my opinion. I do things that are far more annoying like over reacting to...hmm...let's see, EVERYTHING. Most of the time, I correct my grammar or something else that has to do with speech like pronunciation. I'm sorry if I annoy you by correcting either myself or you but that's just how it is. I can't stop because it's just grown into a habit.

You

No matter how many times you change, your perfection stays the same. This time, you looked really good. Apparently you always do now. Its a shame I dont. The encouraging words only help to an extent. The past you cant take back but the future is something you can control. I hope you dont regret your decisions. I know I dont regret feeling the way I do. Maybe in time you'll love me back. I hope that if you do, I will still love you. Im fairly certain I will because a person never forgets the one(s) they love. I hope that some day, somewhere, I will end up running into you and remember all the things I hoped for, all the things I wished would happen, and all the things that did happen.

Links?

www.twitter.com/poqsolo
www.myspace.com/giraffesarethewayoflife
www.youtube.com/poqsolo

twitter, myspace, youtube, facebook, bebo, friendster

Blogs

I've realized that I have just about everything on the internet as far as accounts go, except a blog. So here it goes, my attempt.

I'm sitting on the floor, surrounded by math homework, with 7 new text messages from Twitter and one from Erika in all caps saying 14 days. She's talking about the Katy Perry concert on April 5th. That's something to look forward to.

Today is my mom's birthday and I failed to get her anything. I made the cake, which im counting as my gift. Maybe I'll give her the rhino I made in art majors when I get it back. It's a lovely shade of blue.

I would rather light myself on fire than go to school tomorrow. Someone told me that if you're entire body is burning, your eyes will melt first. I don't believe anything that person says to me though so it's probably not true.

I'm sorry if you read this thinking it would get better because I have obviously failed you, waisting your time. Whenever I say the word obviously, I think of the McFly song which I'm thinking about playing right now. It's a good song so if you have the time, have a listen.